Being a parent is one heck of a job. It’s not easy but I love being a parent. I love seeing my babies get older and teaching them and helping them to grow into good humans.
As parents, you can make mistakes and it’s okay to admit that. As a first time mom at 20, I did my best to raise my child the best way that I knew how. I don’t think that I did a bad job and I have a bright little 5-year old. I learned a lot from raising our first son.
These are some of the things that I did differently with my second baby.
1.Happiness is key. I spent my first pregnancy in a rut and not very happy. I was a college student and felt like a huge failure. I learned about my second pregnancy after being laid off. I chose not to stress or be unhappy and make the most of my pregnancy. Life got really challenging but I stayed really positive during my pregnancy and I’m proud that I didn’t go into a very dark space.
2. Outfit. I brought an outfit for the hospital pictures. I think my oldest just had his diaper and the pictures turned out great but I wanted an outfit this time around.
3.I got this. I relied less on Google and more on maternal insticts. I didn’t need to Google every symptom for sickness, figure out when to start solids or any of those things. I responded to my baby’s cues and mothered accordingily.
4. Less junk. I didn’t buy a lot of unnecessary junk. I knew the importance of buying things that my little one would use. I took time to buy his products until I figured out his likes and dislikes. For example, I bought my oldest a swing and he hated it and we never got to use it. I took my time to research products and have my little one try them out before buying.
5.Little moments. I captured and enjoyed all the little moments ! I realized with my oldest how big the little milestones are and I want to remember them. They do not stay little long and I don’t remember a lot of the little moments with my oldest.
6.No mom guilt. I didn’t feel a lot of mom guilt this time around. I don’t care what people have to say about me using an epidural or not breastfeeding or choosing to work. Those things really bothered me with my first. This time, I was really proud of all the decisions that I made when it came to my little one and I didn’t care what others thought about those decisions.
7. Being less of a helicopter mom. I learned that my adventurous baby likes to explore and fall and there’s nothing that I can do about it. My oldest was very careful and didn’t like falling.
8. Patience. With my second baby, I am being more patient with him as it concerns him reaching milestones. I was so worried with my first when he wasn’t doing this or that by a certain point. Even though doctors assured me my oldest was fine, I worried. I no longer compare my children to their peers and just celebrate where they are.
9.Crib. I bought a crib and actually used it ! I decided this time around my little one would use their crib for bedtime and naptime so I can get things done and spend quality time with my oldest. I’m learning as a mom of 2, I rarely get time to do anything and the crib is a lifesaver for me to get time to myself and get things done.
10.Me Time. With my second baby, I realize the importance of taking time for myself. It’s important for me to feel good so I can be a good mom to them. I also realized that I am more than a mom and trying to find my identity outside of being a mom. I’m learning that self care is not selfish and that I matter. I’m taking time to eat three meals a day, do my hair and just take care of myself.
11. I’m not a hoarder. I kept so many things from my first pregnancy and baby. I literally do not have the space to do that and I’m learning to get rid of things. I keep the sentimental things and get rid of the rest. That was really hard the first time around.
12. Pacifier. I let my baby have a pacifier! I wasn’t sure if I would but he has loved a pacifier since birth. My oldest hated the pacifier and sucks on his tongue. It’s easier to get rid of a pacifier than a tongue so I let my little one have his pacifier.
13. Quality time. I wanted to spend a little more time with my little one before going back to work. Luckily, I didn’t find a job and I was able to be home with him for a year. My oldest started daycare at 4 months and has been in school since then. I recently took our oldest out of school to homeschool and I’m loving the quality time with both boys and I am not ready to go back to work.
14. Emotions. I wasn’t a lovey dovey person before I had children and it was really hard for me to be vulnerable. I learned to be that way with my oldest. I couldn’t have a wall up with my children and I learned how to let down my wall and be a lovey dovey person. I spend a lot of time hugging, cuddling and saying I love you to my children.
15. Mess. I am learning that mess is a part of childhood. Mess no longer bothers me. I let my babies get as messy as possible for art projects, meal times outside and just clean them up afterwards. Mess is no longer a big deal.
Lesson Learned !
This is the list of things that I did differently with my second baby. I learned a lot of valuable lessons the first time around. Are you doing anything differently with your second baby or pregnancy ?