A Letter to My Firstborn

A Letter to My Firstborn

Dear Raylan,

 

You are my little ray of sonshine. You will always be my baby. You are my firstborn. The years and days where it was just you and I will be cherished forever.

 

As we get ready to welcome your little brother,  I want you to know my love for you will never change.  I know my belly gets in the way of our cuddle sessions and I always chuckle when you ask when my belly will get back to normal.  I just want you to know that nothing can ever replace our bond.  You came into my life at the perfect time,  a time where I felt so lost and broken.  Because of you,  I became whole and determined to give you the best life possible.  You changed my life for the better and I will forever be grateful for that.  As I was busy giving you the world,  you gave me so much happiness and joy in return.

 

I write this letter  to let you know that although our family is growing,  you’re not being replaced.  I hope you never feel ignored,  unloved or envious as we welcome a new addition.  I love watching you create a bond with your little brother as you sing and talk to my belly.

 

I am scared that you may feel with this new addition,  I am replacing  you or that I will love you less.  That is simply not true.  A mother’s love is limitless and I will have enough love for the both of you.

 

Raylan,  I know you’ll be the best big brother to your little brother.  I know you will love and care so much for this little baby because you are a lover and genuinely care about others.

 

My love for you will not change.  You are my first child and I had no idea what I was doing when you first entered this world.  I had to learn it all with you and you made me the best mother.  I’ve learned patience,  how to genuinely love and care for someone else and you taught me to always be kind to others because you are counting on me to be a good person not only for you but for others.  You taught me the meaning of unconditional love and how to be selfless.  You have taught me so much in 4 years.  I wanted to be this perfect mom and I realized perfection doesn’t exist.  From the very first day,  you loved me just the way I was and though I am not without flaws,  you made me realize you were not looking for perfection.

 

We have been through so much together and I dont think you realize how much you mean to me.  I’ve watched you go through your own trials as you dealt with mean kids and struggle to come to terms with who you are.

 

Raylan,  you are uniquely you and I hope no one ever dims your light.  I love you so much.  You will always be my first baby. That will never change.  You will pave the way for your little brother and become Mommy’s big helper.  Though that seems like a big job,  I will be there every step of the way. You’re never alone and I will always be here for you.

 

No matter when I feel like a failure,  I can look at you and know that I am doing something right in my life.  I hope after reading and hearing this letter,  you know how much you mean to me and how much I love you.  I love you forever and always.  You are my first born and my little ray of sonshine.

 

I love you to the moon and back,  little one!

 

Love Mommy

 

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